I haven’t been having as many dreams. I think that its because I dream before I go to bed. When I close my eyes I start to have all these images and combinations of people and everything start to flash through me. Pictures of old friends who now know magic tricks. Feelings mixed with sounds and I’m unable to figure it out. To put my finger on anything.
Nobody ever takes me seriously. When they do that it puts me in a position to do exactly what they imagine I would do.
I’m sick of being their clown. I’m no good at anything else though.
I’m really good at breaking all the sudden and saying a bunch of fucked up shit to make you feel so shitty on the inside and scared and invaded. But there really isn’t a career in that. Does that mean I’m supposed to be institutionalized?
I think so.